My Moma ~ Jo Ann Bryant Morrow

Happy Mother's Day Moma! There are so many things I am thankful for about you but the greatest thing of all took place long ago ~ though it seems like just yesterday ~ it was over 38 years ago when I was an awkward 12-year-old.

My church in southern Kentucky was having a revival meeting in the spring of 1971. I had been to church my whole life. My dear mother had seen to that. When I was five years old I walked the church aisle to make a profession of faith because my two older sisters had walked the aisle that day. I remember not wanting to feel left out. I wanted to get "dunked" in the baptistry waters. It was not until 7 years later, at a revival meeting, that my mother made her way to me in the choir loft of that little country church and whispered in my ear "If you died tonight, do you know whether you would go to heaven or not?" (Picture insert ~ my precious mother who cared enough to ask the question.)

I immediately began to cry and made my way out of the choir loft and to the altar that night. I got down on my knees and prayed with the preacher asking God to forgive me of my sins and then asking Jesus to be my Savior. It is as if it just happened yesterday. The elation that I felt that night, and the days to come after, can only be described as wanting to "stand on the rooftop and shout to the world I JUST GOT SAVED." The next day I went to school and I remember how different I felt. My closest friend asked me "What is wrong with you?" I turned around in my chair and said "I got saved last night." That would mark the end of our friendship. Jenny was a wild and free spirit. She did not want anything to do with my new found faith. Surely it was already coming to pass what the scriptures professed in II Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. I had become a new creature - the old things were passing away. I was not wanting to do those things that were not Christ-like. I was not wanting to hangout with the ungodly crowd that I had once associated with. And my life has never been the same. This is the single most profound decision I have ever made in my lifetime. It continues to be the happiest day of my life. Do you know the Lord Jesus Christ? If you died tonight, do you know if you would go to heaven or not?

Thank you, Moma, for this great legacy. And Happy Mother's Day to the best mother ever.

What Grade Are You In Today?

The Pineapple Story 12-tape series has been such a blessing to me over the years. In the second tape entitled "God’s Grade School" Missionary Otto Koning talks about giving up our reputation, surrendering our worldly belongings, and yielding our rights as we progress through God’s grade school. Now that’s a whole lot of "nuggets" in just one tape.

I’m a bad one for worrying about what others think of me. I’ve certainly gotten better with age but I have wasted a whole lot of time in this department over the years. Mr. Koning talks about turning your reputation over to God ~ letting Him handle what others think of you. It is so true that when we try to control or monitor a situation, so folk will see us in the light that we want them to ~ well, we will most often mess it up. But if we hand it over to God and let Him take care of how others see us ~ the outcome is so much the better. And just think how much easier it is ~ think how much less stressful it is. I think, for me, I’ve been the most concerned when someone thought something of me that wasn’t true. It is so hard to just lay that down and let God handle it ~ but if God can’t handle it then no one can. Let God have your reputation in all things. Mr. Koning also talks about surrendering our worldly possessions to him. He says "Not everything we give to God will turn to gold but we must surrender it all and see what He will do with it." Nothing is ours ~ really. Every single thing in this world belongs to Him. Koning believes that if you don’t surrender all of your possessions you will never get out of first grade in this life. He says, "Don’t have a goal to be rich ~ just serve God. Nothing is important ~ only God." Missionary Koning compares our lives to that of being in grade school. Those situations and experiences that we find ourselves in each day ~ and the way in which we handle them ~ progresses or demotes us in the school of life. Doesn’t life seem like one situation or trial after another? It seems we hardly get through one situation and another is just over the horizon. It is these times that grow us ~ that make us the person God wants us to be. Sometimes we travel through these times and fall with a thud and at other times we soar like eagles. Mr. Koning says, "God wants us Christ like so he puts the pressure on until we surrender in that area." Oh that we would see it that way ~ I would much rather progress onto the next grade ~ fully surrendering ~ rather than holding on and holding back and going through fiery trial after trial.Life is a grade school. We will progress from Grade 1 to Grade 2 to Grade 3 and so on as we yield our rights to God ~ as we yield our will ~ as we yield our worldly possession ~ as we bend under His pressure to be like Him. Oh what love ~ that Christ cares that much for us. Oh what love. Always remember ~ God puts on the pressure because He does love us. It is when we are not under His pressure that we need seriously address what kind of relationship we have with Him. We want God to be working in our lives until we meet Him face to face. Lord bless you.

Through The Storms

I did not know His love before, the way I know it now. I could not see my need for Him, my pride would not allow.

I had it all, without a care, the "Self-sufficient" lie. My path was smooth, my sea was still, not a cloud was in my sky.

I thought I knew His love for me, I thought I'd seen His grace, I thought I did not need to grow, I thought I'd found my place.

But then the way grew rough and dark, the storm clouds quickly rolled; The waves began to rock my ship, my anchor would not hold.

The ship that I had built myself was made of foolish pride. It fell apart and left me bare, with nowhere else to hide.

I had no strength or faith to face the trials that lay ahead, And so I simply prayed to Him and bowed my weary head.

His loving arms enveloped me, and then He helped me stand. He said, "You still must face this storm, but I will hold your hand."

So through the dark and lonely night He guided me through pain. I could not see the light of day or when the storm might wane.

Yet through the aches and endless tears, my faith began to grow. I could not see it at the time, but my light began to glow.

I saw God's love in brand new light, His grace and mercy, too. For only when all self was gone could Jesus' love shine through.

It was not easy in the storm, I sometimes wondered, "Why?" At times I thought, "I can't go on." I'd hurt, and doubt, and cry.

But Jesus never left my side, He guided me each day. Through pain and strife, through fire and flood, He helped me all the way.

And now I see as never before how great His love can be. How in my weakness He is strong, how Jesus cares for me!

He worked it all out for my good, although the way was rough. He only sent what I could bear, and then He cried, "Enough!"

He raised His hand and said, "Be still!" He made the storm clouds cease. He opened up the gates of joy and flooded me with peace.

I saw His face now clearer still, I felt His presence strong, I found anew His faithfulness, He never did me wrong.

Now I know more storms will come, but only for my good, For pain and tears have helped me grow as naught else ever could.

I still have so much more to learn as Jesus works in me; If in the storm I'll love Him more, that's where I want to be! ~Author Unknown

Hebrews 13: 5-6 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.

All On The Altar Update

As I shared in my last post, I laid down some "much needed things" in my life. It was tearfully painful but I am so thankful that I did it. We were not built ~ created ~ equipped ~ to handle the burdens that only our Lord can carry. And THANK GOD that He can and does carry them. My spirit is restored, my resolve has returned, and my determination to stay out of the driver’s seat is renewed.

Satan ~ the destroyer ~ has already made his move to bring me down again ~ I would have been foolish to think that he wouldn’t bother me. He did and he will continue. He comes in the form of worries and doubts and most of all discouragement. I know he will be back and I’m thinking that understanding that ~ knowing full and well that he will be back ~ is probably more than half the battle. And keeping my guard up, staying prayed up, continuing to read and meditate on God’s love letter to me, wearing the full armour, leaning and leaning again on the Great Jehovah ~ that is the other half.

Blessings to you all ~ Cathryn

Laying It All On The Altar

This morning ~ before my feet even hit the floor ~ I found myself at the Altar ~ asking God to take some things that I have been carrying around for a while. I think I even surprised myself just how much I had to hand over. I have known for quite some time that I am not equipped to carry much of anything on my shoulders. Yet it doesn’t seem to stop me from removing them from the Lord’s shoulders and putting those burdens back onto mine. I reckon I get to thinking that maybe, just maybe, I can carry it awhile ~ maybe I can do a decent job in trying to work life’s issues out. I mean ~ how hard could it be?

And that’s just the point. It is very hard ~ extremely difficult ~ downright impossible. When I get myself in this spot I can equate it to jumping into a race car at the Indy 500 ~ taking the driver’s seat ~ and hoping to drive that thing to the finish line. Hard ~ difficult ~ impossible? Indeed.

I’ve been a Christian long enough to know that God has His own way of doing things ~ in His own time ~ and it is imperative that I keep my eyes on Him and off the circumstances of life ~ or I will sink ~ as I often have ~ just like Peter did when he took his eyes off Christ when they were walking on the water.

And so I gave back some things that I had no business having. I can’t drive that race car ~ I must remain in the passenger seat; I can’t climb to the top of that mountain ~ not without the proper climbing gear; I can’t walk that tight rope ~ unless I have the rod to balance me above and the safety net to catch me below. Thankfully, I am hopelessly incapable of running my own life.

This morning through many tears and a broken spirit I laid my "all" on the altar. An old hymn I used to sing in a little country church in southern Kentucky ~ entitled "Is Your All On The Altar" ~ came to my mind ~ and the fit was perfect.

You have longed for sweet peace
And for faith to increase
And have earnestly, fervently prayed;
But you cannot have rest
Or be perfectly blest,
Until all on the altar is laid.

O we never can know
What the Lord will bestow
Of the blessings for which we have prayed
Till our body and soul
He doth fully control,
And our all on the altar is laid.

Who can tell all the love
He will send from above
And how happy our hearts will be made
Of the fellowship sweet
We shall share at his feet
When our all on the altar is laid.

Is your all on the altar of sacrifice laid?
Your heart does the Spirit control?
You can only be blest,
And have peace and sweet rest,
As you yield Him your body and soul.

In 1900 Elisha Hoffman was inspired by Romans 12:1 to write this song.

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.

Cathy ~ You Must Find Victory Within Yourself

This is somewhat of a long read ~ but it shows how God moves and I pray it can encourage someone.

I’ve been waiting for days, weeks, even months - waiting for something specific from God. I had told Him it would make it so much easier if He could scrawl His answer across the sky ~ or send me a letter in the mail. :) I found that the more I sought His face on this particular matter the more anxious, impatient, and even desperate I was beginning to feel.

This afternoon I had to run an errand for my mother. I drove to the store and as I walked the aisles I once again implored God for help in this very crucial matter that is uppermost in my mind. I can’t tell you exactly how "what happened" took place ~ I just know that it did. God spoke to my heart and I found myself saying out loud "Cathy, you must find victory within yourself." My mouth moved, said the words, and I believe God put them there. I had not even been thinking these words. And at that moment the oppression and loneliness that I had been feeling lifted from me. The impression was profound.

Now I can’t tell you that I knew exactly what that meant. All I knew was that God gave it to me. The lift of that heavy weight of oppression was so tangible. I knew this was my starting place ~ and I also knew where I had to go to begin searching for what God was trying to tell me. So when I got home this evening I began a word search in the Bible. I figured my work was cut out for me ~ with a term like victory ~ there had to be many citations. But surprisingly it occurs only 13 times in the Old and New Testament combined. And there were three citations that really stood out to me this evening.

The first citation is found in I Chronicles 29:11 which is King David’s "kingdom prayer." Thine, O Lord, is the greatness, and the power, and the glory, and the victory, and the majesty: for all that is in the Heaven and in the earth is thine; thine is the kingdom, O Lord, and thou art exalted as head above all. This is considered one of the greatest prayers in the Scriptures. J. Vernon McGee puts it well ~ "It repudiates (refuses or denies) all human merit and declares human dependence on God. It reveals self-humiliation, confession, and dedication of self. It admits that all belongs to God." Human merit unimportant ~ dependence ~ meekness ~ confession.

The second citation is in Psalm 98:1 O sing unto the Lord a new song; for He hath done marvellous things: His right hand, and His holy arm, hath gotten him the victory. Matthew Henry says "The Redeemer has overcome all difficulties in the way of our redemption, and was not discouraged by the services or sufferings appointed him ~ let us praise Him." Praise God - He has overcome all obstacles ~ victory indeed.

The final citation is in I John 5:4 For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith. Faith saves us and faith keeps us. J. Vernon McGee says "...and faith is the only way in which you and I will be able to overcome this world around us." This verse says that whoever is saved (whoever is born of God) will overcome this world. And it doesn’t say that we will overcome by fighting but rather by faith. God will do the fighting ~ in the same way that Joshua was to march around the walls of Jericho. His business was to believe God that the walls would fall down - his job was not to fight and knock the walls down. And so it is for us - to overcome this world by faith.

God burdened my heart ~ ‘Cathy - You must find the victory within yourself.’ Lay down any effort to fight this battle. Believe that God will fight it for you. For He knows all your infirmities and He has overcome the world.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring. I don't even know what the next step will be. I only know that I will overcome this situation with my faith. God is my victor.

I Surrender All

When I was a teenager, I remember going into the basement at home and trying to bang out a tune on our old upright piano. The one song I could play really well was I Surrender All.

I had always dreamed of being a concert pianist. So in my freshman year of college I decided to take piano lessons. I reckon it was already too late for me ~ kind of like teaching an old dog new tricks. I just couldn't seem to pick it up ~ except for that one song I Surrender All. I still have dreams of being a concert pianist but that is all they are ~ just dreams. And to this day, hearing the piano play is still one of my most favorite of things to listen to.

Recently when I was updating my music playlist for this blog I came across none other than my one song ~ that which you hear playing right now. It got me to thinking about that night long ago when I was just 12 years old when I surrendered my life to Jesus in an old time revival meeting.

How time flies. It seems like just yesterday when I walked the aisle in that little Baptist church in southern Kentucky and asked Jesus into my heart. Just like yesterday ~ but it wasn't just yesterday ~ it was nearly 38 years ago. And the highlight of my life has been surrendering my life to my Lord. I can't tell you that I've always walked the straight and narrow in the past or present. I can't tell you my life has been without heartache and disappointment. I can't tell you that I have done all I could for Him. But I can tell you I wouldn't change the journey for anything.

In closing, here's the words to my song ~

All to Jesus I surrender ~ All to Him I freely give

I will ever love and trust Him, In His presence daily live.

All to Jesus I surrender ~ Humbly at His feet I bow

Worldly pleasures all forsaken Take me, Jesus, take me now.

I surrender all, I surrender all;

All to Jesus I surrender ~ I surrender all.